Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Wednesday Wit and Wisdom

Sharing today with Linda Kay's Wit and Wisdom . . .
Todays post is difficult for me to write.  But there is an important message.  And I really, really hope that someone that needs to hear this story will be led here.
                                    Z dancing: Z dancing
The story starts when my sweet grandson was about 15 months.  He was a very active normal little boy.
I was blessed to be his 'day time' care giver until he was 18 months.  That's when he went to preschool.
It was bittersweet for me.  But preschool is a good thing.  (I teach preschool now)

I/we(The Cowboy and I) were always careful.  Most of the time just hanging back and allowing our
daughter and her husband to make contact.  We learned very early on that being too clingy pushed 'them' away.

We suspected very early on about the 3rd month of their marriage that our daughter was emotionally abused.  Unfortunately our suspicions were confirmed when our grandson was about 2.

They became more and more reclusive.

We prayed.

We cried.

We prayed.

We waited.  There is so much I could write.  So many worries and feelings.

It was so hard. Because I am the kind of person that I am the 'fixer'.  I wanted to jump in drag them out and
hide them away and help them start over.

But, until she was ready it wasn't an option.  For many months we prayed that God would just protect them.
And he did.

Finally our daughter managed to get away and after a very long separation they were divorced.

But our worries weren't over.  Because with divorce there is always visitation. The court ordered weekly overnight visits.  So began another 3 long years of worry, concern and heart break.

Last July our grandsons father was arrested for domestic abuse.  In a fit of rage he tried to strangle his live in girlfriend.  He had gone to her work place taking our grandson and his half sister.  Our grand son was left in the car. (In July)  The half sister was taken inside and witnessed the events.  Long story short the police were called.  He was arrested for domestic violence and was in jail for 9 months.  There were no charges pressed for child endangerment.

Just before this incident happened our grandson started limping.  The limp became really severe and he was taken to a couple of different doctors.  An MRI was ordered and it was determined that there was an injury that damaged the growth plate.

In June of this year he had to go through major surgery.  He was in a cast for 8 weeks.

It's been a long ordeal.  After many, many hours.  And many, many dollars spent our daughter managed to get full custody.  But, the court still allows supervised visitation.  There are no more over night visits.

We know that the journey isn't over.  It's a situation like you see in a movie.  Or hear about on the news.
The situation where parents 'fight' over kids.  It is truly a 'fight'.  But believe me it's not a fight at least from our end to manipulate.  It's a fight to keep him safe.  And it is on going. It's not over.  Right now we have a reprieve.  We know it's only a matter of time before we're back in court.

That's when we begin praying instead for thanksgiving, we pray for safety.

I know this isn't a normal Wit and Wisdom post.  But I write this in the hopes that someone that needs to hear this story will read it.

I pray that someone will be Blessed by these words . . .

. . . Don't give up.  Don't give in.  Pray.  God will sustain you.  God will protect.  And, it is ok to give in.
To give up.  To walk away.  To Run away.   Reach out to those that love you.  No matter what your being told there are people that love you.  Trust God for protection and healing.

. . . And, if your the parent and your child is in an abusive situation don't give up.  If he/she won't contact you don't give in.  Be there.  Be ready for when they reach out.  Don't be pushy.  That is the worst thing you can do.  It's hard but you have to 'wait' till they are ready to hear the words.

And, pray.  Pray for guidance.  Pray for wisdom.  Pray for their safety.  And realize that God is in control.

Linking with Titus Tuesday


Denise said...

bless you for sharing, praying for your family. I love you.

Linda Kay said...

Your story pulls at my heartstrings. Many of us have had to stand back and watch our children make mistakes, but we do have to stand back and just be there for them. My younger daughter became a victim of alcohol (and whatever else) abuse. Five years ago, she came to me for help, and she is no drug free and happy. Soaring into a life that could have been her life many years ago, unfortunately, but she had to find that out for herself. God bless.

A Colorful World said...

What an important post! I am so glad you shared. Protecting the innocent, whether they be a woman in an abusive relationship or a child who cannot help themselves is always for me the most important thing we can pray for...for guidance, strength, protection! When it happens in your own family it has to be the hardest thing imaginable. How wonderful that you prayed and prayed for your daughter and grandson and that they are safe now! I hope someone who needs to read this post will read it. God bless you!