Now don't get me wrong he was a great dad but he just wasn't around alot. He traveled for his job a lot. He was in the woods anytime he had the chance and there was even a time that he had a deer lease with his job.
He was always a great husband and father in that he provided for his family.
The last few months have been some of the hardest I think that we have ever experienced in our 32 years of marriage.
And, my Cowboy doesn't deal well with things that he can't manage, control or fix. He isn't a very romantic person even in good times. But when things are difficult he tends to close himself off.
I tend to talk. I tend to ask for help. I tend to ask for prayer.
He tends to pray quietly not outloud. Just quietly seeking God's love, patience and direction. He tends to think that he and God will work things out.
I struggle when he gets this way. I struggle when things bother him and he doesn't share them. I struggle when he is not feeling good and when his knee's are hurting him because he just begins to act mean and tacky sometimes. Just basically he is a jerk around the house. Not so much in public he can hide it well. But here at home he doesn't he is grumpy and hard to live with.
And it makes me angry. It frustrates me. It makes him hard to love. And so it causes me to fall into sin. And it hurts me when I get angry and annoyed.
I know that the last few months have taken their toll on him. The last few months have taken their toll on me. The last few months have affected us physically, and spiritually.
We need God more than ever. We need his love. We need his patience and we need his forgiveness.
I feel a need to turn all this over to God. I feel a need to ask God to help the Cowboy. To give him relief from the physical pain. To give him back his self confidence. To give him a Blessing.
Since today is the first I am going to devote myself to praying for 'My Cowboy' everyday this month. I got out The Power of a Praying Women and I am planning to use it as a guide. I'll be writing more this month about praying for Cowboy I don't know if it will be a daily topic. I guess I'll just let God give me direction.
I was wondering have you been going through difficulties in life. Difficulties that affect your marriage. Difficulties that affect your feelings toward your Cowboy. Difficulties that make you not love him quite as much.
If so I invite you to join me.
You might not want to post about it. I understand because it is a little embarrassing to say some of the things that I have said. And if your Cowboy or others in your family read your blog you might not want them to read it and possibly be hurt.
If your hurting or if your going through struggles like I/we have and you need prayer support or encouragement I want to pray for you. I want to encourage you to prayer for your Cowboy. Please send me an email. Here's my email sleganatyahoodotcom. Or you can click on the button on my side bar.
I have faith that God will supply what we need. I have faith that God will give us the strength to go through all the difficulties and the struggles. And I have faith that the broken pieces of my heart can be healed.
I have faith that he will heal your heart too.
Wordfilled Wednesday is hosted by Amy over at Internet Cafe Devotions.