Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Welcome to My Journey...yesterday I shared with you one of my passions. Today I share with you my heart and my confusion and my need.
I have received many sweet and encouraging comments and emails from you my sisters in blog land. I have received many visits from some lurkers that I hope are touched by the things that I write about.
Today I need to write about a struggle that I am going through and to ask you all my dear sisters to pray for me and pray for our ministry.
Because I need to know the will of God. Is that a question you ask too? I know we all from time to time ask God many questions like Why when something bad happens. Or When...when we want or need something.
But before I go on to share with you the answers I need from God let me share with you about my passions. Not necessarily in order of priority. Just ramdomly sharing my heart.
Passion A...becoming a woman of God. Praying and wishing that God would say words like Well done and Woman after my own heart
Passion B...My children and grandchildren.
Passion C...I love horses and anything about them.
Passion D...our ministry and working with kids.
My hearts desire is to do what God wants me to do. But, I have a hard time knowing what that is. I am one of those that tends to do a lot of good things like the ministry and then ask God to Bless my work. Does that make sense?
We have been in fulltime ministry for 6 years. This means my husband has not had a paying job in 6 years. We have a 3 bedroom house (rented) on 5 acreas. We have one horse and a multitude of other pets. We have an old worn out truck. We have a convertible mustang (alot of fun)which was donated to us. Today we have electricity, propane gas for heat,cooking and hot water, inter-net and cable t.v., trash pick up (pay extra not on our water bill) oh and well water and a cell phone with texting. I said today we have these things because there are times that we don't have the money to pay our bills. We spend a lot of money in reconnection fee's.
For 6 years we have said the statement 11th Hourmore times than I would have liked. For 6 years I have been a whiner many times. And asked those questions of God that I mentioned earlier.
Remember I mentioned my Passions...that included:ministry,family,God,working with kids which actually means teenagers in prison and horses.
One of my biggest passions is horses. Remember I said those passions were listed randomly. I would have difficulty prioritizing them.
For over 20 years it has been my hearts desire to use horses in a way to help kids. I didn't know how exactly. There are lots of different ways: a ranch for kids, lessons, theraputic riding. For years I have read about others and wished and dreamed about being a part of that type of ministry. I didn't really look at it was a ministry I just wanted to help kids through horses. Two of my passions.
I find myself, my Cowboy the ministry with an opportunity. And at cross roads.
The opportunity is a building that would house our food pantry and sewing classroom and Bible study classroom, and multi purpose classroom. And an arena with cattle pens for working cattle.
Our ministry has been homeless for over a year. We have donated office space. We have donated storage space for pantry. And we use prison facility classrooms for Bible Study and sewing classes.
And so probably more so than ever in the last 6 years we need God's guidance and direction. We need to know that this is God's will for this ministry. That it isn't just my hearts desire but that God put that desire into my heart and that he is opening the door or gate in this instance.
And so my dear new friends I ask and covet your prayers for our ministry. For myself and cowboy. For God to show us without a doubt this is where he wants the ministry to go and where our new home will be.
You see I have lots of old friends that would jump at the chance to resurrect this building and facility. I could spend many hours writing grants and writing friends and doing fundraisers to make this happen. To get/receive my hearts desire
But is it God's?
I cherish your prayers. I cherish your words of encouragement. Please come by and visit me and please lift up this prayer request.
Thank you dear ones for coming along with me on The Journey