Wednesday, July 21, 2010

And he shows love again . . . and again . . .

I have dwelled on if I should write this post today. My Cowboy shows love in many ways but today/tonight all I can think about is how he reacts to my venting.

Yes . . . more often than not I do some venting. And, well over the years my Cowboy has received much spiritual wisdom from our heavenly Father. He has learned over the years to listen. And then forget what I am complaining about.

You see . . . (this is why I wasn't sure about writing this) my mother drives me nuts. When I read posts from dear blogging friends that talk about how much they miss their mothers I am really burdened by my attitude.

Tonight I came home having to vent once again. And dear sweet Cowboy listened and didn't make any nasty comments. He did laugh at one of my stories which was about the tupperware bowl with a lid that my mother melted a month or so ago. That particular bowl is still in the kitchen sitting on a stack of containers. I not She said noticed it today. I commented. She answered "l I like it so much I just didn't want to throw it away. "

Ok I know your thinking "my word this girl is just so mean, ugly and probably a dozen other tacky things. But that was just the funny story from today.

It kind of helped me get past the whining about the other kids and grand children not coming over. The 'so did he look for a job today?'

The how do I deal with if my daughter and I go to Missouri with the baby next week alone. My daughter's car is just not big enough for three adults and a car seat. But my mother will not understand that.

And today when she calls just before I am about to leave to go to her house she asks 'do you have any money?' She knows I don't have any money but she wanted me to stop at the grocery store which is not on the way it is more like 15 minutes out of the way. She needed pie cherries.

And so all this and many more episodes drain on me. I feel guilty. I feel bad that I don't have the gas money to run an errand for her. And it is not just that our only car is almost on it's last leg it overheats in stop and go traffic. I feel bad that I can't just drop everything and take her to the produce stand.

I feel bad that my brother doesn't go to see her. I feel bad my nephew doesn't go see her. I feel bad that my daughter doesn't go by as often as my mother wants.

But these things are out of my control. These things even though they burden me when she carry's on and on I know I can't help but it is a burden for me.

And so sometimes I come home and I dump and vent on Cowboy and he just listens until I run out of steam. And I am sure (I actually haven't asked but I am sure) that he prays for this situation because he knows it hurts me.

So, that is how my Cowboy shows love. To join What does love look like in you home . . . click here.
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