Wordfilled Wednesday from My Heart "Waiting". . . (Part One)
I was thinking about writing an update post about The Shop and as I began to think about the words I would share here with you these words came to mind.
And, I realized it wasn't easy to wait.. But I also realized I am peaceful.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
I am waiting. I know that God has a plan for me and my immediate future. For now I am trusting God and I am waiting for clear answers.
For the last few months I have been exhausting myself trying to find work. For two different opportunities I was interviewed 3 times! With both I was confident of an offer. When no offer came I saw it as a huge set back. At least for us financially.
We Cowboy and I had decided that I would go back to work full time or at least work 30 hours a week. The end of June I began to earnestly seek a job. I prayed that I would be able to start working by August. I did receive an offer and took a position that I thought would be something I could manage. And, the offer was made on July 28th. Answer to my prayer. I barely made it to my 90 day evaluation at that evuluation I turned in my resignation. Partly because I was confident about another job offer (where I had applied earlier) and partly because I couldn't handly the job any longer. I found myself driving home every Friday praying that I would not think about work or the people until Monday. It was a heart ache for me because the first weeks I drove home praying for my co-workers because I wanted to. Because I cared about them. But as the weeks went by the autmosphere became so difficult that I was still praying 'for them' but I was praying more and more to get them out of my head!
A couple of weeks after I gave my resignation and I did not get the offer I began to feel like I had made the wrong decision about quiting my job. But, God has shown me in some of the weirdest ways that it was the right decision. I am confident that for the time I was there that is where God intended for me to be. We were able to pay off some bills and financially get stronger.
As I have looked and searched for work and not found any I have begun to feel more and more that God doesn't want me 'out of the home' with a fulltime commitment.
But the weird thing about the way God answerd me when I began to doubt is that our car broke down.
We had put it in the shop for something minor and then all these things started happening.
It is still broke down. I would not have been able to get to work!
As I have thought about what kind of jobs I could do I have begun to ask myself this question 'What do I know how to do?' And 'What do I do best?' And the answer that keeps coming to mind is sewing and teaching.
I don't know how. I don't know when. I don't even know if God wants me to do something with this talent. And I hate to even call it that. But I know for right now I am to be at home.
And, for right now I am waiting for His guidiance. I am waiting for Him to show me. I don't want to rush things or get ahead of His timing.
I am waiting.
I wish I could give you some encouraging words today. I guess the only encouragment I can give is Trust in God. Even if your uncertain trust him and his word. And, open your eyes and your heart to Him. Ask Him to show you and speak to you. Trust in God and Wait.
The words to the following song have been tumbling around in my head; they speak to me and say some of the things that I can't put into words.
Waiting on The Journey . . .
Linking with WordFilled Wednesday