Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Lean not . . .
I copied this photo from a free photo thingy just because I thought I would put a verse on it like Amy does over at the 160acrewoods but I haven't taken the time to do it. Tonight I got words of encouragement from Amy at just the time that I needed it. Tonight I need encouragement. Tonight I need prayer. I started this blog as my attempt to get my life back. You see for the last 4 years I have been totally 150%abosorbed in ministry. Don't get me wrong I love,love,love what I do!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I had let myself and my life take the backseat. I mean look at my post from a couple of Fridays ago and you'll see my front porch nightmare. And also my photo from yesterday of my "junk" drawer. My husband and I both have consumed ourselves with this ministry. I do not say that in a negative tone. And if it comes across that way please do not take it that way. I have to say again I love what I do.
I always wanted and prayed and wished for more than two kids. I know now why God didn't give me more than my two kids.
Two reasons #1 my daughter whom I love more than anything else is wonderfully spoiled rotten and is a total hand full.
And #2 I have all these kids that I work with through the ministry.
If I had a house full of my own I would not be able to work with and help all the other kids.
And that is exactly my problem tonight. I hurt for all my "adopted" kids.
I work with kids that have been "in trouble" they are either incarcerated now or on parole. I have a mentoring relationship with a girl that is on parole.
This girl had two other roommates for a couple of months. She was assualted 4 times by one of the roommates before we were able to get her out. (they are in a program)
She was finally removed from the apartment and placed into another apartment in the same complex.
One of the x roommates climbed into an open window last night came into her apartment stole her phone and a book (an inspirational book by a well known pastor that I had given her) hit the girl in the face and left.
This morning all three girls had to report to their program (normal reporting) The incident was reported. The girl that did the assault admitted to hitting the other girl. They were all allowed to leave. The girl that was hit was told to go home lock her door and not talk to the other girls. And that the girl that hit her would be "picked up" in the morning.
This just kills me. I hurt for the girl that was hit. I hurt for the girl that did the hitting. When the girl that was hit asked the caseworked "why do they get away with all this." (being caughting stealing, smoking pot and the assaults) the caseworker answered. "We are trying to work with them."
Hello. . . I am really venting now but what does that mean? I mean really leaving her in that situation. Not putting her ( the assaulter) in anger management (not that I agree with all thier so called programs) basically she is allowed to do what she wants.
It kills me. All three of these girls need prayer. And not only them but the next girl that goes if this girl leaves. It is so frustrating to me.
I really need to ask all my regular volunteers and supporters to pray for all of them but it is so hard because I can't share details about the girls because they are juveniles.
So I ask all my friends out there that are reading me. All you guys that are lurking out there. All you guys that I read and leave comments and tell you I am praying about your situations. Will you please pray for my "kids". God gave them to me because no one else has cared about them. God only gave me two of my own kids because way back 20 years ago he knew that these girls would need me. I have more kids to love than I could have every dreamed of.
Please help me today and pray for my kids.
I don't understand why things happen the way that they do. I did not understand why God did not answer my prayers oh so many years ago. I knew that I would be a good mother. A "mommy" and I deserved lots and lots of kids. But I do know now that if I had the 8 or more of my own that I wanted that I would not be able to help the kids that I do now. And tonight I am thankful. I am thankful that God allows me to help these kids.