Tuesday, June 23, 2009

My Thoughts for the day aka Day Book Entry

I was thinking last night about what to write today. There are many things going on in my mind. Things I want to share. Things that need prayer. As I thought about it and prayed last night I thought it would be fun to use the Simple Woman's Day Book as a template. (with some changes) And everything rides on hope...


Prayers lifted up to the father today: Our ministry, dear sweet Debra aka Clothed in Scarlet (see her button on the sidebar), Families in crises and my own faith

I am seeking... God's direction in ministry. Financially we are beyond the 11th hour once again. The difference currently is we seemed to have all our bills paid, food for all the animals. But we are behind on the rent again. We have been waiting all month for a big corporate donation. I just continue to over and over question God's timing. I guess it is similar to when people ask why do bad things happen? We don't understand God's ways. I have to remember this verse. Isaiah 55:8&9 For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. But still I struggle. Because I just don't understand why it is so hard. I need God's strength. I need encouragement. I need affirmation. It actually hurts when I look around at what our personal life is like. When I try to dress to go somewhere and I can't find anything to where. When I try to brush my hair and look halfway presentable. I haven't had a haircut in almost 2 years. And color well that is scary. I have exactly one pair of blue jeans because I splurged and bought a new pair after the only other pair I had litterally was so thread bare that they fell apart. For a few weeks I was really 'in style' but then it got beyond style and got obscene. I know your thinking what is this girl whinning about? What exactly does she mean that it hurts? It hurts because I see us working so hard to do what we think God has directed us to do and yet we barely are making it. It hurts when our daughter is having financial struggles (made a banking error; not good anytime but especially bad when you live pay day to payday) it hurts that we can't help. It hurt that the timing was such that the food pantry is depleted because we were cleaning everything out to do a thorough cleaning.

And so I struggle. I struggle with wondering if this was all really God's will why is it so hard.

And then I have to go back to Isaiah.

I didn't sleep last night...Because I was so upset and disappointed about the break up of a marriage. I know that there are many opinions about Jon and Kate and I actually have my own but it just breaks my heart to see what they are going through. I am praying for them and I am praying that God brings to them spiritual mentors.

I am thinking...that young families need spiritual mentors.

I see the need for...women to follow the principles of the Titus 2 woman.

I am my church. When we joined there 5 years ago we were searching for a traditional place of worship. A church that was structured and sound in Biblical ways and teaching. A church that was like the churches we grew up in only current. A church that had Sunday evening services. A church that had Sunday School.

Today the church where we worship doesn't have Sunday night services. No services or teaching on Wednesdays (during the summer) and our Sunday School teacher left the church a year ago. We have been having subs everyweek for a year now. I miss Sunday night services.

I am trying to be...faithful in scripture memory and to encourage both my (adult)children in memorizing scripture and finding time to go to church. although in my daughters case I understand because she lives near us and finding a church is hard.

I am frustrated... because I want to make my house a home. I want it to be clean. I want to have the energy to keep it clean and unclutterd. I want to be excited if company drops in not embarrased to let anyone in the front door.

I am seeking wisdom, strength,energy, encouragement affirmation or answers.

And friends I promise tomorrow I will be back to normal. I promise to post a WFW entry and I promise to be cheerful and looking forward to the day.

And before I go since I am copying The Simple Woman here's something I want to share.

And so my friends even if you have a day like I have had or you feel like I for this day because there is Joy in it. Because there is nothing between You and Jesus
Have Hope in tomorrow and Learn from yesterday

And everything rides on hope...
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